he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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