I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
