guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
