Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
