if i died would you start the facebook group?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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