Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize