a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
