I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
