BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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