I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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