he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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