paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
