You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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