About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
