paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
