pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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