Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I supernannyed him into submission
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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