I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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