just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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