ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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