Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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