I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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