honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
