This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
