I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
