omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
