woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
