This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
