eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
