remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I would fuck him just for his dog
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
