im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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