So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
