Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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