I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
