I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
