Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
