Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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