Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
