forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
