i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
