nut hugger
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
