is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
