another moral hangover. fuck.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
