when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
