And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
