I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize