So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
