why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
