somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just found puke in my bra..
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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