Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize