Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
