so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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