That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
