But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
