shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
