I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
