I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
