Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
