maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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